Forgiving Others

(Today's celebrity guest writer is the Rev'd Canon Gwendolyn-Jane Romeril. She serves as Priest Associate and chaplain to the Daughters of the King at Trinity, Bethlehem.) 

“He was still a long way from home when his father saw him; his heart was filled with pity and he ran, threw his arms around his son, and kissed him.” -  The Lost Son, Luke 15: v.20                               

The story of The Lost Son is a story about unconditional love.  The father had every reason to feel angry, disappointed, betrayed, hurt, abandoned, yet he was able to forgive his son even before the son reached home.  What love!

We often have trouble forgiving someone who has hurt us.  “We don't feel like it.” What we do feel is the deep wounding, the betrayal, the anger, the rejection.  (Fill in the blank...it's a long  list).  But then, Love is not a feeling! Love is a decision.  Or how else can two people stay married for 60 or 70 years?  On the wall of our home hangs this epitaph:

         

            A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS THE UNION OF TWO FORGIVERS

It is a great rule, not only for marriages, but for parenting, friendships, businesses, for relationships in general.  Just think how our world would change if this principle were put into practice.

Love is the ingredient needed...unconditional love.  The kind of love the father in this parable possessed.  Of course, Jesus meant us to understand that the father in the parable is God, whose very essence is unconditional love.  We are still struggling to become the lovers God created us to be.

In addressing this struggle of ours, a wise priest named Jim Finnegan once said:  “When you have trouble forgiving someone, look at the word  'forgive'.  Take it apart. Rework it.  Put the 'give' in front of the 'for'. It takes love to forgive.  We can't forgive on our own because we don't feel very loving. But if we take (or borrow) the unconditional love of God, and give it for the sake of Jesus, to another, forgiveness can happen.  When we do this, we accomplish several things: First we forgive the other person.  Next, we release ourselves by fulfilling Jesus' command where he said:  “Forgive one another as I have forgiven you.”

We also model unconditional love thereby practicing godly behaviour...which could become habitual.  Lent is an opportune time to practice unconditional love.

Night Prayer

May any refusal to forgive that lingers with me from the day, any bitterness

of soul that hardens my heart, be softened by your graces of the night.  Renew me in the image of your unconditional love, O God, renew me in the likeness of your mercy. Amen.