Be Reconciled

Visit-to-vet day is always traumatic in my household. First there is the strategy required to track down, capture and crate three wily, wild beasts, one of whom seems to be claustrophobic, and whose outraged yowls will immediately alert the other denizens to the game that is afoot. Then there is the eerie growling that is the musical backdrop for the brief ride to the vet’s office.

Followed by the shameless look of (dare I say?) puppy love as the very large, social RedCat stares up into the eyes of his attractive veterinary nurse; the immediate inventory of everything in the room by the black hunter-cat; and terrifying, otherworldly wails and feline obscenities from the tuxedo who is a lifelong enemy of anything that smells of D-O-G.

Inevitably, as soon as we return home, a massive battle breaks out, as though each creature blamed the others for his discomfort. Then an hour of silence as they hide in their respective corners—broken only by soft growls if someone should happen to walk too near.

There is grudging acceptance of each other’s presence over dinner. And everyone is careful to stay in their own areas. While this is better than outright hostility, it is clear that no one is happy or comfortable. Mutual forgiveness for the bad behavior is an important first step. But it is not the last one. Eventually, as the awkward and careful hours go by, someone decides to break the impasse. A cautious approach and a gentle lick of an ear indicate a willingness to move on to the next phase of the process. A wrestle. A mutual hunting of the catnip rats. And an eventual threesome, curled contentedly in the polar fleece blanket.

To forgive is hard. To ask for forgiveness is harder. To stretch out your hand seeking reconciliation requires faith and courage. But it is the best way to achieve healing.

- Laura Howell+