Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Forgiving Myself

“Am I a bad kid?” He stopped on the stairs and stared up at me with honest, but sad eyes.  As a member of the “emotional support” class, he probably voiced a thought held by many of his peers. This  was his second classroom of the school year and I was the fifth person who had been assigned to work with him one on one.  I bent down, looked him directly in the eyes, and said:  “No, you are not a bad kid.  You are a good kid.  You just find it hard to behave appropriately at times.”  

For me the biggest obstacle to forgiving myself is that I think that I am “bad.”  I think that my actions, my sins, are what I am, and determine what I am worth.  However, I am more than the sum total of my acts.  It can be hard to accept that God sees me differently.  God sees that I am a broken, hurt, hurting, and hurtful child of God, and forgives me and loves me in spite of myself and because of myself.  How can I not forgive myself, if I have already been forgiven?

-- Kathleen Knaack

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